Keeping Up Appearances: The Hyacinth Bucket Rap

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Last Updated on April 10, 2023 by Stefanie Hutson

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Dame Patricia Routledge as Hyacinth Bucket in Keeping Up Appearances | BritBox

Though we use real humans to write 99.9% of the content on this site, we occasionally like to play around with the new artificial intelligence tools that have been so popular lately. This morning, I thought it might be fun to see if it could take a few of Hyacinth Bucket's likes and dislikes and create a rap from it. 

It didn't disappoint. Below, we give you the Hyacinth Bucket-inspired Keeping Up Appearances rap. 

The Hyacinth Bucket Rap

I can't really imagine Dame Patricia Routledge recording this one, but it's certainly good for a chuckle. 

Verse 1:

I'm the queen of sophistication, my style's always on trend

My candlelight suppers are the talk of all my friends

My Royal Doulton with hand-painted periwinkles is sublime

And my private slimline white telephone is always on the line

Chorus:

Keeping up appearances is my top priority

I'm socially superior, that's my authority

I never settle for less, I always strive

To be the best, and keep my social life alive

Verse 2:

I have a deep disdain for lower middle-class humour, it's not my thing

I prefer the finer things in life, to which I cling

It's Bouquet, don't you know? Not Bucket, please get it right

And if my Sheridan were here, he'd be appalled at the sight

Chorus:

Keeping up appearances is my top priority

I'm socially superior, that's my authority

I never settle for less, I always strive

To be the best, and keep my social life alive

Verse 3:

My candlelight suppers are the highlight of the week

My Royal Doulton is worth more than what you might think

My private slimline white telephone never stops ringing

With invitations to events that are simply stunning

Chorus:

Keeping up appearances is my top priority

I'm socially superior, that's my authority

I never settle for less, I always strive

To be the best, and keep my social life alive

Outro:

So if you want to be like me, just follow my lead

Keep your manners polished, your style in check, and your guests pleased

Never settle for second best, aim for the top

And you too can be socially superior, just don't ever stop.

 

Wondering Where to Watch Keeping Up Appearances?

If it's been ages since you last saw Hyacinth Bucket and all her magnificent snobbery, you can watch it all again HERE on BritBox (US).

There's also a prequel, written by creator Roy Clarke, and it's called Young Hyacinth. It doesn't begin to capture the magic of the original, of course, but it's interesting to know how Hyacinth's creator pictured her backstory and upbringing. It explains a lot. You can watch Young Hyacinth HERE

And while we're on the topic of Keeping Up Appearances, you may also enjoy:

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