30 of the Best, Funniest, & Most Heartwarming Love Actually Quotes
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Last Updated on December 9, 2023 by Stefanie Hutson
It's 2023 as we write this, and that means Love Actually is now 20 years old (slightly older, if you count the time it took for all the writing, pre-production, filming, and post-production). Despite that, many of us continue to watch it annually during the holiday season, reliving all those sweet, sappy, sad, and silly moments we've grown to love.
At 136 minutes long with 10 separate storylines, it can be a challenge to remember all the best bits – but to help, we've gathered up some of the film's most delightful lines.
Interested in watching it in the lead-up to Christmas? At time of writing, Love Actually was available on the following services in the US:
- AMC+ subscription
- Netflix (leaving soon!)
- Streaming rental or purchase on platforms like Amazon Prime Video, Google Play, Apple TV, and Vudu
30 of the Best, Funniest, & Most Heartwarming Love Actually Quotes
- Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often, it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there – fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know, none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge – they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around. –Prime Minister
- Hello, David. I mean “sir” – oh shit, I can't believe I've said that! Oh no, and now I've gone and said “shit” – twice. I'm so sorry, sir. –Natalie
- When I was young and successful, I was greedy and foolish, and now I'm left with no one. Wrinkled and alone. –Billy Mack
- I am Colin, God of Sex. I'm just on the wrong continent, that's all. –Colin
- I was hoping you'd win – though of course I'd have been perfectly friendly to the other bloke. Just always given him the boring biscuits with no chocolate. –Natalie
- Get a grip; people hate sissies. No one's ever going to shag you if you cry all the time. –Karen
- Invite him out for a drink and then, after about twenty minutes, casually drop into the conversation the fact that you'd like to marry him and have lots of sex and babies. –Harry
- He said no one's gonna fancy a girl with thights the size of big tree trunks. Not a nice guy, actually, in the end. –Natalie
- Ah! You know, um, being Prime Minister, I could just have him murdered. –PM
- Thank you, sir. I'll think about it. –Natalie
- Do. The SAS are absolutely charming. Ruthless trained killers are just a phone call away. –PM
- Now which doll shall we give Daisy's little friend Emily? The one that looks like a transvestite or the one that looks like a dominatrix? –Karen
- Hiya kids. Here is an important message from your Uncle Bill. Don't buy drugs. Become a pop star, and they give you them for free! –Billy Mack 47
- There was more than one lobster present at the birth of Jesus? –Karen
- Come here, there is a man at the door. He wants to marry you. –Mr. Barros
- Wouldn't it be great if Number One this Christmas wasn't some smug teenager – but an ugly old ex-heroin addict searching for a comeback at any price? –Billy Mack
- Stateside I am Prince William without the weird family. –Colin
- Beautiful Aurelia, I've come here with a view of asking you to marriage me. I know I seems an insane person—because I hardly knows you—but sometimes things are so transparency, they don't need evidential proof. And I will inhabit here, or you can inhabit with me in England. –Jamie
- Definitely go for England, girl. You'll meet Prince William—then you can marry him instead. –Sophia
- Girls love musicians, don't they? Even the really weird ones get girlfriends. –Sam
- I love that word “relationship.” Covers all manner of sins, doesn't it? I fear that this has become a bad relationship; a relationship based on the President taking exactly what he wants and casually ignoring all those things that really matter to, erm… Britain. We may be a small country, but we're a great one, too. The country of Shakespeare, Churchill, the Beatles, Sean Connery, Harry Potter. David Beckham's right foot. David Beckham's left foot, come to that. And a friend who bullies us is no longer a friend. And since bullies only respond to strength, from now onward I will be prepared to be much stronger. And the President should be prepared for that. –Prime Minister
- The trouble with being the Prime Minister's sister is, it does put your life into rather harsh perspective. What did my brother do today? He stood up and fought for his country. And what did I do? I made a papier maché lobster head. –Karen
- But for now, let me say – Without hope or agenda – Just because it's Christmas – (and at Christmas you tell the truth) – To me, you are perfect – And my wasted heart will love you – Until you look like this. –Mark
- Even better! Sam, you've got nothin' to lose, and you'll always regret it if you don't! I never told your mom enough. I should have told her everyday because she was perfect everyday. You've seen the films, kiddo. It ain't over 'til its over. –Daniel
- Almost finished? What else can there be? Are you gonna dip it in yogurt? Cover it with Chocolate Buttons? –Harry
- I'll give you anything you ask for – as long as it's not something I don't want to give. –The President
- I left Elton John's, where there were a hefty number of half-naked chicks with their mouths open, to hang out with you, at Christmas. It's a terrible mistake, Chubs, but you turn out to be the fucking love of my life. And to be honest, despite all my complaining, we have had a wonderful life. –Billy
- I'll be hanging around the mistletoe, hoping to be kissed. –Mia
- Would you wait around to find out if it's just a necklace, or if it's sex and a necklace, or if, worst of all, it's a necklace and love? Would you stay, knowing life would always be a little bit worse? Or would you cut and run?
- It's my favorite time of day, driving you. –Jamie
- Okay, dad. Let's do it. Let's go get the shit kicked out of us by love. –Sam
- Jamie's friends are so good looking! He never tells me this. I think, maybe now I have made the wrong choice? Picked wrong Englishman? –Aurelia
- God, you weigh a lot. –PM
- Oh, shut your face. –Natalie
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